Instead

Loch Drunkie, Loch Lomond and The Trossachs National Park

Decisions, decisions

I make mistakes, bad decisions, all the time. Most are rooted in a never ending search for a calm contentment, only to be derailed by a fickle, restless, inquisitive mind and uncertainty over what it is that I actually want. To be fair on myself, I’m not sure that many of us have a crystal-clear, long-term image of what we truly desire. Time, of course, changes everything anyway, and attainment for me tends simply to bring the next target into view.

Change as a constant

A vague, unsettling sense of dissatisfaction inevitably solidifies into decision and committed action. Often hasty, sometimes expensive and painful. Always a lesson. I try to minimise collateral damage, but sadly this hasn’t always been the case. I must be a nightmare to live with… On balance, it’s an approach that works for me. It may sound like the lifestyle equivalent of an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters, but it’s not that random. Decent careers advice and some life coaching might have prevented some dead-ends though.

Van life

My latest ‘episode’ involved swapping our comfortable, reliable, and practically perfect car for a van. A VW Transporter Kombi. Every photographer needs a camper van right? How else am I to get into the wilds early or late enough to get that shot? Ours would have to be a day van. A daily driver (we’ve only one parking space and we don’t want to be a two car household anyway). Following a 700+ mile round trip, and as we were nearing home in an increasingly rattly and disappointing purchase, the dashboard of the van lit up like a Christmas tree. There was nothing for it but to negotiate a u-turn. Another 700+ mile journey in a single hit. The sense of relief to be back behind the wheel of my trusty Honda was almost a teary one. Knackered, but relieved.

As the wonderful Madeleine Peyroux sings…

“Instead of acting crazy chasin' things that make you mad, Keep your heart ahead, it'll lead you back to what you have”